YOU BETTER WIN BANANA BOI
by chocolatemonster847
Summary: Rin opened her mouth to explain that she and Miku made a bet to see who is better. And that things got wayyy out of hand, and that they had ended up renting out a whole stadium for the rumble and rumbles to come. What happens when the vocaloids go into the wresting world? The commentators are best, the matches are not what they seem, and a lot is on the line for Rin.
1. Chapter 1

**Vocaloid Insults**

 **First round**

 **Len Vs Oliver**

Len woke up in a dark, sweaty room. The chair he was sitting on made his butt fall asleep.

As he tried to get some feeling back in his Gluteus Maximus (Butt muscle), he started to notice his surroundings.

From what he could decode, it was a….locker room!?

He suddenly felt his shoulders being rubbed and a high pitched voice whispering in his ear.

"You got this banana boy, that blondie's got nothing on you. You can totally beat him in this match."

Suddenly the lights came on, and he was blinded and then he noticed…..

"RIN! WHY THE HECK AM I HERE? ACTUALLY NO WAIT, WHERE AM I ? AND WHY IN BANANA GOD'S HOLY NAME AM I IN THESE RIDULOUS BOXING CLOTHES?" Len screamed at his twin.

"Huff….huff," Len who was panting from screaming, was also waiting for answers.

Rin opened her mouth to explain that she and Miku made a bet to see who is better, Len or Oliver. And that things got wayyy out of hand, and that they had ended up renting out a whole stadium for the rumble.

But just as she opened her mouth, the intercom came on.

"HELLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I Meiko Sakine,"

"And I Kaito Sakine,"

"And I Luka Megurine,"

"Will be hosting the 2017 ROYAL RUMBLE VOCALOID INSULTS!" they all said in unison.

"The first Rounnndddd of this exciting MATCHHH will be with LEN KAGAMINE AND OLIVER!" announced Meiko.

Meiko was very excited about this. She after all lived for the show of violence despite her husband's disapproval.

"NOW LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR LEN KAGAMINE! COMING FROM THE HOMETOWN OF CRYPTON!" Announced Luka, whose only reason for coming was for the free tuna, and getting to hang with Meiko.

Luka, who was in love with her friend Meiko, was going to do everything in the Tuna God's power to undermine Katio, and show who Meiko really belongs with.

We bring this break with WHY DOES LEN OR RIN DIE EVERY TIME IN THEIR SONG

"Welp, you heard the woman, you're up Len my boy" Rin exclaimed like an excited coach.

"Wait, what the hell Rin? I don't wanna fight, and don't talk to me like a coach." Len said.

All of sudden the atmosphere around them extremely darkened, Rin got the crazy look in her eye that Len always told her to go check out with a doctor, and in a low voice she said, "Do **you know I much I've invested in you;** if you don't win Len, **I'm losing a lot of *******"** with that one sentence, the Kagamine was on his feet, and running towards the ring.

As Len exited, he felt his soul exit as well.

Len made his way into ring, and was pleasantly surprised?

 **STAY TUNED READERS!**

 **Will Len win the match?**

 **Will Oliver win?**

 **Will the Tuna God help Luka out with her one-sided love?**

 **I also take requests, just write your preferred pairing, in the review section and I'll try my best.**

 **ALL IF NOT MOST WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Not gonna lie, this chapter isn't very exciting, but chapter 3 will definitely be full of insults**

 **Chapter 2**

What Len found in the ring was a table, and two chairs?

The table was set up in the middle of the ring, and had a chair placed on two sides facing each other. And he had to cover his ears for a minute, why was there such a huge crowd, the stadium was filled to the brim.

 **Len's POV**

 _Jeez, did the whole Tokyo population show up?_

 _Don't these people have jobs, lives, and kids to take care of?_

 _Eh? What's with the chairs? And where's Oliver?_

 **No one's POV**

As if sensing Len's confusion, Meiko took her personalized mic.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR HOME BOY OLIVERRRRRR"

After that Oliver came out and started making his way to the ring.

And right then Kaito took his mic, "I sure am glad that this is a Sassy Battle instead of a real match,"

Luka intervened, after all she had to do her job as the commentator, "seeing that some people in the audience look confused, a Sassy Battle is the theme for this match, which means that these two will be roasting each other, the first part will be the 'Of Course' round where the two will accuse each other of things that are necessarily not true, but they have to say that they did it, and if that person doesn't agree, they lose."

Kaito jumped a little in his seat as he felt the glares coming towards the ring, and poor he was in the way. The blue haired man looked behind him, and saw Rin and Miku with front row seats to the show.

But what the poor bluenette didn't notice was that Luka who sitting beside Meiko, was glaring space lasers at him, and rubbing her Tuna God statue under the table.

Meiko sweat dropped at her friend, and oblivious husband. She was stuck in the middle. Meiko could never figure out why Luka hated Kaito so.

As Oliver made his way down, his upper half was covered in oil, and the look on his face was priceless when he found out he wouldn't be physically fighting.

Oliver got inside the ring, and sat down, while Len was just glad that it wasn't physical.

Both of the blonds now seated, and so started the round 1.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **There is cursing involved and suggestive themes.**

 **I apologize if this offends anyone, it was not my intention.**

With the sound of the bell, the match began.

All eyes were on those two.

Oliver decided to go first, "Len, you know that you're the reason that people think all blondes are air heads right?"

Len could not believe his ears, how dare that little-.

"OI, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? MY BROTHER'S SMARTER THAN YOU." Rin screamed from her front row seat.

Fine, if Oliver wants to start off with blonde jokes, let it be so. He was going to take the high road.

Len clears his throat and says, "Of course."

Oliver at the moment looked quite satisfied till Len opened his mouth again.

Len with a smirk says, "You know Oliver, the other day I saw you bathing in a bird bath, why is that so? Is it because you got kicked out of your house?"

Oliver looked so embarrassed, his face looked like a cherry tomato, why the hell would he make something so crazy up?

"I wonder if Oliver was so horrible that his own family kicked him out." Meiko says, adding gasoline to the fire, while Luka who was still furiously glaring at Kaito, spoke into the mic, "Well, if he agrees, then it'll be embarrassing for his whole life."

Oliver, taking a deep breath, looked over at the glaring leek, and said, "Of course."

Oliver opened his mouth again, "If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world."

"OHHHHH SHOTS FIRED!" screamed Meiko, who was feeling a little tipsy at this point.

Len, "Of course, it looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer."

"And the compliment is returned," Luka comments with sarcasm dripping from her voice.

Oliver, "Of course. You've got to admit Len, Rin's way manlier than you."

Len, "Of course, Oliver, you must have no friends."

Oliver, "Of course, hi Len, I heard your favorite nursery rhyme is HumpMe DumpMe."

Suddenly the crowd looks focused, everyone wanted to know if the rumors were true or not.

"Wow, it seems that Len's fangirls are super focused," Kaito absently added as he held on to a wild Meiko who wanted to kiss the imaginary M&M man.

Len, who was fuming at this point, a guy only does ONE SONG about using girls, ahem Spice ahem, and suddenly he's a player.

Len couldn't admit to that, he was not a ladies man. Woman and girls actually terrified him thanks to his sister and cray-cray fangirls. He was sick of all the people calling him a player.

There was a silence, and then then Len spoke.

"I'm sorry, no." Len got up from his chair and back away.

A gasp was heard.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ROUND 1'S VICTOR IS BIRD BOYYYY OLIVERRRRR." Said Kaito, who rushed over to the ring to hold up Oliver's hand.

"Stay tuned for the 2nd round of the match which will decide the victor, the theme is…PERSONAL CRITIZISM and other family members may be included." Luka added, as they went into a 10 minute break time.

 **Hi guys, um does anyone have any vocaloids they want to be pitted against one another?**

 **Please leave a review, and thank you.**


End file.
